Let's Talk About Sex

I've been quite pre-occupied with thoughts of sex for a while now. Everyone I know seems to have done it, is doing it or has plans to do it soon. I've heard different stories that have really roused my curiosity. All the guys that I've spoken with about sex, say they find it extremely pleasurable, but that's not always the case with women.

A very good friend of mine told me that she had sex for the first time at eighteen. She said that the first time was really uncomfortable and clumsy. But now she finds it really mind blowing, although it took her one whole year, to get comfortable enough to start enjoying it and now even climaxes before her boyfriend. Another girl told me she has never enjoyed it and she cried and cried the first time it happened. Someone even likened her first time to the feeling of driving a stick forcefully up her nose! The mixed reviews has got me all worried. I have always dreamed that my wedding night will be magical, with me wearing some really sexy lingerie for my man. But I'm told not to expect too much and I'm disappointed already. Some say that the men are just out to get some, and that after they are done, they leave the woman wanting! I have spoken to my Boo about this and he assures me of a pleasurable experience, even though he is a novice himself!

On the other hand, the guys had really nice stories about sex. Didn't hear any serious complaints, although one lamented that he wished his chick would be more adventurous in bed. He said she never let him go down on her (say what? *cringe*) nor would she go down on him ( ok, that's where I draw the line! For real?). Some of the guys also had the fantasy of doing it in every room of the house, in the car, at the park, at the office, on the plane (not realistic!). I see all this stuff in movies, but I wonder if these positions are comfortable or even doable not to talk of enjoyable. Another recurring fantasy among the men, was having sex in a place where the possibility of getting caught was high.

I want to know how a woman can enjoy sex. I don't want to ever have to fake.. um.. you know. I guess what I'm trying to do is get some real people up in here to break it down for me. I've read books, but it's all the same very academic stuff. Someone suggested I watch porn, but hell no, it hasn't gotten to that. I have even taken a mirror and looked at myself. The hole is so tiny and I wonder if a cotton bud can pass through, let alone a man's organ (It's so hard for me to type the real names, *blinks shyly*). Please people talk to me.

People are never what they seem

Still trying to recover from the events that occured last night at my flat. I live in a two bedroom flat with my friend/colleague. She is such a sweet girl. Her fiance owns the place, but she decided she needed to stay with a female until after they got married. I applauded her decision and was really happy. She told me she had had sex with him but wants to turn over a new leaf. No sex before marriage and I commended her. I was really impressed. Her fiance stays not too far away from us, so we get to see him almost every day. And he is a real correct guy. On Monday evening, he came to the house but he had to leave early because he had an early morning meeting for Tuesday. Meanwhile, I had noticed she had been making some weird calls all evening. As soon as her fiance, *Bayo left, she called someone. In less than ten minutes there was a knock on the door. I answered and this really tall and handsome guy was standing there. I was sure he had the wrong house as I had never seen him before.

'Hello,' his voice was smooth, deep and very sexy. Reminded me of that guy in boyz-II-men. Wetin be that im name? Anyway, he continued. 'Is *Sade in?' very smooth indeed.

I was just about to say, 'Sorry, wrong address,' and shut the door, when I realized he was indeed in the right place.

'Er..,' I thought for a moment, then called out, 'Sade, Sade...visitor for you.'

She was beside me faster than the speed of light. 'Come in Duke,' I stepped aside. They hugged each other like old friends that hadn't been in touch in a while(ok, that's the interpretation I chose to see. It was more like I've missed your body or something down those lines.) Which one be my own? I entered my room jejely and closed my door. Turned on the TV and tried to get ready for work the next day. I ironed my clothes, cleaned my shoes, picked out my makeup (I'm meticulous like that!), and all those other little things. When I was done, I lay on my bed to watch TV. I started to yawn. I heard their voices very loud from the sitting room. Was waiting for him to leave so we could lock up for the night. Besides, I wanted to change the TV channel from the living room and couldn't dare venture out because I was naked and didn't want to start wearing clothes again and I also needed some quiet. This was like 11:30pm and they were still laughing very loudly. I was beginning to wonder. But, hmm, which one be my own?

I must have dozed off, as the next thing I heard was a tap on my door. Sade entered. 'Sorry dear, you don sleep?'

'Duh! You see time? Abeg when is your friend leaving?'

'That's what I came to talk to you about. He's not leaving. He's spending the night.' Warning bells went off in my head. We have a "no boys after 12 midnight" rule. Her idea.

'And why is that?' I asked.

'He is stranded. The person he was supposed to stay with tonight just called to inform him that it won't be possible again.' Somehow I knew this was a lie. The plan had probably been for him to sleep over all along. I mean, who called by- I glanced at the wall clock - 11:50pm, to tell their guest that accommodation was no longer available? I eyed her warily. She doesn't lie to me usually, so I relaxed and decided to trust her.

'Fine. It's not like I can say no. I no be devil. By the way. Who is he and how did you guys meet? You didn't even introduce us!'

'Don't worry, will give you the full gist tomorrow,' she said. 'In the mean time, let me go prepare the couch for him,' She said and rushed off.

Fast forward - 2:00am. I woke up and needed to drink water. I got up. Her room is opposite mine. Her door is permanently ajar due to some carpentry malfunctions. I went to the kitchen to get the glass of water and return to my room. Nothing prepared me for what I heard when I approached my door. I heard low groans and moans. I almost dropped my glass. I was conufsed and went back to the kitchen area. As I passed the living room, I realized that Duke had disappeared. It started to come together. AHHH. I have never heard these sounds for real o, except in movies. I moved closer to the door. There was no mistaking the fact that they were having sex. This girl na wa o. I went back to my room. Those two were oblivious to the outside world. Couldn't sleep for a while after that.

I didn't say anything to her about it this morning. The guy had mysteriously appeared on the couch by 6:00am. He was sound asleep when I passed, obviously spent from their midnight sexcapade! But she on the other hand was so full of life, chatting away like she hadn't a care in the world. Na wa o.

I really don't know what else to say. And I thought I had problems! I guess I'd better mind my business.

I'm out.

Vanity upon vanity

I've not been here in a while and it seems like an eternity! So much is happening around blogsville..yeah been doing my rounds.

On Friday last week, I wore this new traditional dress I just made, to work. I knew I looked good, didn't need nobody to tell me. I just discovered this new tailor in Abuja and I'm so glad I did. Her prices are high, but she is really good. So, back to Friday. There is this chick *Blacky from my office. She's good looking, but I discovered she's always trying to size me up, not confident in her own beauty, needing to put others down to feel better about herself. Below are some sample questions that she's most likely to ask me should we meet during the course of a work day:
"Chickito, I like your shoes. Where did you get them?"
"How much did your jacket cost?"
"Is that an authentic Gucci bag? If you tell me how much you got it, I'll know. The real ones are really expensive. Could be a nice knock off!"
"That can't possibly be real diamond studs on your ears!" Which one be her own sef?

Most of my colleagues and I are like family and I guess Blacky wants to be accepted by all means so she goes about trying to act like she knows what's up, but ends up alienating herself even more. But the one she really does that I can never understand is the way she copies me. She'll never say she likes my hairdo, but a week after I do a new hair do, she'll go and have hers done. At first, I thought it was just coincidence, but it kept on happening. As of this morning, she's sporting a long black weave! If you remember, that's what I have on at the moment!! When I told another colleague of ours, she asked me to ignore her and feel flattered that she wants to be like me. Anyway, Last Friday, I had a shawl over my beautiful dress (It does get painfully cold at the office) when she walked into my office. I wanted her to see my dress and eat her eyes out, but atlas, I was covered. Damn.. I knew if I suddenly removed the shawl, it would've been obvious that I was showing off. She came in with some breakfast and announced that she was going down the hall from my office to eat and invited me to come along. She always did this and I always politely rejected the offer, but that day, I saw it as my chance to show her my dress as i felt I won't have another opportunity , because her office is on another floor of the building). I know, it's terribly childish and vain, but I just couldn't resist. As I got up from my chair I slowly dropped my shawl 'mistakenly' and walked past her. Her mouth almost fell open. I could see she loved the dress, but hated me for having it. She didn't say a word. I didn't mind. As we walked down the hall, all the guys we passed complimented me and she was really fuming. We got to the room and she told me we were having moi moi and ijebu garri (Ok, she went to one Oga's office to collect the garri. The guy is a typical Yoruba man, and can't do without his Ijebu Garri). I ate just a little moi moi. My mission was accomplished. i thanked her and went back to my office. I really still can't believe I did that. I'm not usually that shallow, but this home girl is getting sick of Blacky's attitude.

And to other gist, I had the weekend to think and sort myself out. Boo traveled and I was able to break my emotional thingy with Tom. Told him to get lost in no uncertain terms. He was so angry, I thought he would force himself on me to prove I wanted him. I just prayed for God's help and I got it. I don't think he'll be calling me back. I am content and I can look forward to my future with confidence. Thanks to all of you for your support through the difficult time.

I'm out

My Ex has come back to hunt me! 2

We went for dinner and saw a movie afterwards. I can't even remember how the chinese food tasted or what we talked about. My heart was just beating. We got back to my place and after dropping me, he refused to leave. He said he wasn't coming in but begged me to sit with him in the car, that he won't be held responsible if he tried to get down with me. I agreed to stay in the car, because I wasn't sure if I'd stop him if he tried anything.

'So my darling,' he asked, 'Are you really happy with Boo? Just say the word and we'll start arranging the traditional wedding tonight. I'll call your dad, by the way how is he doing? I'll also call my family, you know they've always loved you. My mum has never liked any of the other girls I've taken home. My sister keeps rubbing it in that I was a fool to let you go.....' On and on he went about how badly he wanted us to rekindle the old flame that burned between us. The bad thing is, I'd wanted to hear these words so long ago. Talk about the right thing at the wrong time!

Now Boo and Tom know each other. Boo was our senior in the university. At that time in school, he was dating somebody else and I never even thought anything would ever happen between us. You know how it is, you just find yourselves in the same place and you begin to see what you never did before. After Boo broke up with his then girlfriend, he was inconsolable. I even felt sorry for him and wished I had a guy that would be inconsolable if he ever lost me. I stayed of guys for a while until I finished school (except for a brief stint with a much older friend of Tom and I, which is another story in itself.) I and Boo met again later at church. He just started getting interested in me but I wasn't interested at all. I just felf he probably was still hung up on his girlfriend. He convinced me that he wasn't. So I started to examine him very well. He was everything a girl wants (at least, this girl). And after a while, I agreed to date him. He is the perfect gentleman. Treats me like a queen, is always thoughtful, caring and kind. He would make a wonderful husband and father. Sparks fly between us, but it's just not like with Tom. I hate to compare but it's the truth. He is what I need but Tom is what I seem to want.

Anyway, back to that night. Tom said if not that he knew Boo, he would openly declare war and then the best man would win. But as Boo is someone he always admired and looked up to, he would hold his peace for now, giving me time to make up my mind. He finally left, but not before he said those magical words, 'I love you.' Heyyyy, na me be dis? I got inside my house by 11pm an checked my phone. It had been on silent mode since. There were 17 missed calls from Boo. It was then I remembered him. I called back immediately. He was so relieved. 'Baby, I was going mad with worry. What happened? Are you OK? You didn't call all evening.' It wasn't even an accusation. 'Which kind man be dis?' I thought to myself. I knew the only way that I could leave him was if we had a serious fight. We've never really had one because he hardly ever lost his cool, no matter how much I pushed him, and boy do I push him.

'What, monitoring me now are we? So because you are not in town now you want to keep an eye on me en? You don't own me o, I can choose not to pick the phone if I want.' I said this to try and pick a fight.
'Ah babe, not so. I'm not monitoring you and you know it. I was just worried. Anyway, what have you been up to? I wish I could be with you tomorrow. I miss you too much, but I can't leave here till the 28th.' I could hear the longing in his voice. I felt he wasn't reacting how I wanted, so I pushed him a little more.
'No problem at all, take your time at home. Greet everyone for me o,' was all I said.
He laughed. Ah, I thought to myself wetin funny, vex na! 'As if you are not missing me! My naughty baby. Sleep well dear. Will talk to you tomorrow. I love you.'

I just said 'Bye,' and hung up. Whatever. I went to bed and was thinking about Tom and I couldn't sleep. What to do, what to do. I thought I would run crazy. I got through the night and woke up with Tom on my mind, couldn't pray, couldn't do anything. We hung out on Christmas day and tried to catch up on old times. Tom has been calling me even now that Boo is back in town. I just told Boo he's been transferred to Abuja and he was so excited. He hadn't seen him in a while. I asked Boo if he felt threatened by my Ex's presence and he said he didn't have an issue with that at all. He said if his own ex came to town he knows it wouldn't make a difference to him. Besides, he trusts me and would never doubt me. Our wedding is for the end of the year. But how can I marry him if my ex is still wooing me and I can't tell him convincingly, to back off? This is a recipe for disaster.

My Ex has come back to hunt me!

My Pipo,
I've been thinking and thinking and then thinking some more and my brain is aching from it all. I was dating this guy *Tom way back in school in 2002. We broke up after one year, but I can say he was my first true love. I loved him to bits. As kids, of course we were not thinking marriage (I was, but never told him so). We told the pastor of our school fellowship and he started asking our plans for the future. He pour sand sand for my garri. I was quick to point out we were just dating and having a good time. He said we should seriously consider the future and if marriage was not in the picture somewhere, we should break it off. Of course the poor boy was not thinking marriage, for God's sake we were just both 20! He got cold feet and I sensed his uncertainty, so I broke it off. It was really difficult for me. I wanted him to realize that he couldn't do without me and come begging me to come back. It never happened. We just remained friends and the worst part of it was we had to see each other almost everyday during one fellowship activity or the other. I lost a lot of weight and developed a close friendship with an older male friend of ours which helped me get through the whole thing. I tried to make him jealous (the subject for another post), but nothing worked. Eventually, I gave up and learned to live with my aching heart and put it all behind me after I left school in 2004.

The thing is, I never completely got over him. Now he is in Abuja. The company he works for transferred him from Lagos. He called me to tell me. On hearing his voice alone, my heart fluttered. He asked if we could hang out. This was during the holiday period and my boo travelled out of town to visit family. I really didn't know he still had this effect on me. This is really crazy. I agreed to meet with him. I convinced myself that it was no biggie. If I refused it would be as if I.... I don't have any idea what I thought. He came to my house on Christmas eve. I heard his knock by 7:10pm. Why my heart was racing as fast as it was I had no idea. I opened the door and let him in, he was looking yummy. I was shaking like jelly. I didn't realize how much I had missed him. It had been 3 years. All thought of my boo had flown out of the window. Tom reached out and gave me a hug, and held me for a little longer. I pulled away before I disgraced myself there.

I suggested we leave immediately so we didn't miss our movie. He agreed but not after asking for a glass of water. While he was sipping, he was staring at me as if he was seeing me for the first time.
"You have changed a bit," he said quietly
"You too," was all I could manage. I wondered what happened to my tongue.
"I look er,matured," he joked. "But you are even more beautiful."
I just smiled. I didn't trust myself to reply. I couldn't believe he was sitting in my living room. I don't really expect you guys to understand. I used to adore him, worship him even. It was that intense. It is a wonder I never had sex with him, but God knows I considered it.
"I missed you," he blurted out. "I don't know how I stayed away for 3 years. I have really missed you Angel." He called me the nickname he used to call me then.
Make una see me o. Why now when I am in a secure relationship? My boo is crazy about me and i know it. I could never hurt him, but with this guy around, yawa dey o.
I will complete the whole story tomorrow. I have to get back to work. Please bear with me.

In other happenings, both Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie (of simple life) have giving birth to a baby boy and girl respectively. This happened over the weekend. This is wishing them all the best.

I'm out.

Stuff

Today, I couldn't make it as soon as I thought I would to give you guys the gist. My boss who was on leave for 3 weeks is back in the office and is as mean as ever. The guy too dey yarn and it's difficult being the only female on my team and even on my floor. I constantly have to work harder than others to prove myself.

Well let me see what I can do before I run off for my umpteenth meeting today. My boo is 'toomush'. Concerning that *Chi-chi girl who has been texting him, he called me yesterday and advised me to be weary of her. He said that she didn't seem like an honest person to him and that I should watch my back. When I asked him why he was suspicious, he said to trust him and I do. So I've decided to pretend like I didn't see the texts she has been sending. And yes, I did check his sent folder... he expressed disgust that she would even think of such a thing. But he was a gentle man about it. Abeg, my 'baybay toomush'.

As for my hair,yep, I did it. If you are in Abuja and you see someone sporting a long black weave (and I do look cute), and driving honda accord 2002 model, it could just be me. That guy from work saw me during our morning meeting today and told me I looked stunning.

Got to run now. The boss man has called twice already. I will update tomorrow morning, I promise. Take care all and thanks for not only stopping by but also for taking the time to comment...Muahhh!

I'm out.

Story Story....

I was looking through my boyfriend's phone two days ago. It's not something I usually do but this time we were both expecting his mom to send an address we needed. When his phone rang, expecting it to be his mom's text, I was surprised to see a text from a girl named *Chi-chi. I read it, and I couldn't believe what I was reading. My 'friend' who just came back from Obodo oyinbo was toasting my bobo. See me see wahala. I looked through the message list and discovered that this was not the first message she has sent in the space of the 1 month she's been around.
This story is still developing... I haven't asked my bobo about it and he hasn't said anything. Hmm, I smell rat o.

Thank God it's Friday. I can go and fix my hair, finally, tomorrow! I've been carrying my braids since before Christmas. That's not such a long time abi, but for me it is. I sweat a lot on my scalp so I have to change my 'do' every couple of weeks. I thought I could carry it for one more week, but an encounter with my senior colleague in the office made me change my mind. Nor be im this guy enter my office, come dey near my desk. I was sitting and concentrating so hard in front of my laptop, and he probably thought I was working seriously doing office stuff. I was looking at Afrobabe's blog and trying so hard not to laugh (she sure has some crazy pictures there) when the guy entered my office. I immediately tried to minimize the page and open something work-related, for where? The mouse chose that time not to respond. Damn it, he was getting closer. I quickly stood up as if to greet him properly and advanced toward him. I really didn't know what I was going to do when I got to him. On a good day, when he enters my office like that, I barely mumble something resembling a greeting and I usually don't bother to look up. When I got close to him, for some weird reason, he opened his arms "..what da..." I was trying to make sense of his gesture. Then he hugged me. I wasn't expecting that! He thought I stood up to hug him.
Then he said, " Chickito, hope you plan to do your hair tomorrow."
"Why?" I asked, innocent me.
"It smells, well, kind of funky," he was obviously embarrassed. I just smiled.
At least he didn't see what was on my PC screen.
When I got back to my sit, the page had finally minimized. A little to late if you as me. At at least he didn't get to see those wicked pictures.

I'm going home now. Had a really stressful day...yeah right...stalking your blogs. This thing is getting addictive o. Una no say na so e go be. But I'm loving it. Be back on Monday. Be sure to check back then. Gist dey.

Lovely weekend all. I'm out.