Friday, March 28, 2008

About Bread Winning and Condoms

...For the lack of a better title...

Yeah I know, I've been missing in action. But I've still been very much around on your pages. How's everyone doing? I'm alright. Work's killing me though. Trying not to complain too much, because some people will kill to be where I am. God's been good.

Was discussing with a friend of mine, who's getting married on Saturday, that's two days from now. She's the one with the job. Her man doesn't have one. He's not lazy or anything like that, but he just thinks he ought to be a stay home dad. At first when I heard that, I was alarmed. But she explained the situation to me and it got me thinking. She makes pretty good money like you can't even imagine. They've been dating since school. They finished school and she got a job even before she graduated. (Yeah, she's brainy like that). He does this and that to bring in a little cash, but he has no steady job. She's the major bread winner. He'll probably get by without her, but she's definitely made his life more comfortable.

A lot of people say he's a gold digger, but I know that ain't the case but people don't really understand. Now my question is, is it Nigerian (or manly for that matter) to be a house husband? If the husband and wife decide that the woman should bring the money, who's to say she shouldn't? What's right and what's wrong? I know people will say, a couple should decide what works best for them, as no two marriages can ever be the same. But is this ever a healthy arrangement? I need to know from the men. I, for one can't marry a man who'll be content to let me bring in the cash month after month. I'll definitely grow resentful toward him.

Something really embarrassing happened to me today. In fact that's what even inspired this post. I took a colleague of mine to the clinic this morning. She was to go see the doctor for a routine check-up today. Her car broke down on her way to work, so she begged me to give her a ride to the clinic. We got to the hospital and the doctor she wanted to see is a friend of ours, so we were gisting and playing with the guy. When we were about to leave, we saw a pack of condoms on a table by the door. I made to pass by without giving it another thought(I mean which one concern Agbero with overload?) But not my friend, she reached for a handful. I just shook my head. the doctor said she should go and marry before she shags all the guys in Abuja and then none of them will agree to marry her again. We all laughed. It was a joke.

On our way out, she slipped them into my bag, as she left hers at the office. When we got back to the office, we both forgot her condoms in my handbag. By this time, like 11:30, I was already late for a departmental meeting slated for 11am, so we just ran off to our respective buildings and promised to meet for lunch. I got into the meeting and luckily since it was a big meeting, my lateness wasn't really noticed by those that mattered. I just quietly took a seat at the back. During tea break, the whole place was rowdy, people greeting people and just moving around. Me and my friends were together making noise in one corner. Suddenly someone shoved me hard from behind and knocked my bag off my shoulders, almost knocking me down as well. I turned to glare at him and pass a rude comment (the guy is my friend) only to notice everyone staring at the contents of my bag that had spilled out. They seemed to be shocked.I wondered why. I had totally forgotten them condoms. Chei. If I could blush i would have turned the crimson colour of ripe red cherries! Can't remember the last time I felt this embarrassed in public. I wanted the floor to open and swallow me. One colleague of mine quickly rushed over to help me. After picking up all the condoms, she said loudly, 'Here are your six condoms.' They were all laughing.

I'm over the incident now and I called my friend immediately to come and take her property. All the guys have been giving me lewd glances since then, like they wanna get in my pants. (Or maybe I'm just imagining it). One even said, 'Chickito, I could have sworn that you are a sweet innocent thing. I guess it's just your act.' I feel my rep has been irreparably damaged. Ahh. Well, if any one of them comes to say rubbish in my ear, I will pour devil beans down his pants! (Remember devil beans, anyone? It's this itchy plant we used to see as kids in the football field or wherever).

Well that's all for now folks. I'm out. Muaahhh...

Thursday, March 13, 2008

New Wife?

It's so much easier to go around reading other peoples blogs and leaving comments. I try to update every single day, but I start and never finish. Work nko? It sure doesn't help the matter. A lot of things are happening and I know I should blog about them. This post is a bit long (sorry o, the story plenty!) I know, but I don't want to do part two like some people (DL, na you I dey talk. Go update jo)!

First off, last weekend was some thing else. I traveled home to attend a wedding. I arrived on Saturday morning and went straight to my Parents' house to get ready for the wedding which was to begin by noon, abi where was I supposed to go before? Let me take this slow. My Dad sent a driver to come pick me from the airport. Boo followed me inside just to greet my parents and then the driver took him to his own house. A few minutes before 12 noon, Boo returned to pick me up and we left the house. (I have a bad habit of sometimes leaving my phone at home if I feel I might not have any need for it, or I just don't want to be disturbed and that day was one of such days.)

We arrived at the wedding and I was there enjoying my self jejely with my man and I felt this great urge to turn my head to look behind me. Ah, there she was! Boo's Mother. She had this accusing look in her eyes. I waved and smiled at her, she just moved her eyes up and down (as in she eyed me very well) and turned her head away. I just pretended I was waving to someone else. I turned to Boo and asked, 'Why is your Mom mad at me? Have I done something wrong or is it her just being her usual self?'
Boo smiled at me and said, 'Pay her no mind babe, she's just being herself,' and he winked at me.
'It's only because of you that I put up with her, hope you know that,' and I just kept grumbling to myself about why she won't just give me a chance and blah, blah bla. Boo took my hand and squeezed it and we continued to enjoy the wedding and I forgot about Boo's Mom for a while.

At the reception, I noticed that all of Boo's sisters had arrived. All six of them. From my table,I could see everyone sitting at their own table. Boo's parents, his sisters and some of their friends. I got up to go say hi and tell them I'd be coming to the house later in the day to pay them a visit. As I approached, I noticed one really pretty chick sitting at the table. I couldn't help but notice her. She was a very attractive- light, smooth complexion, lovely hair, slender body- woman. She couldn't have been much older than me. I greeted Boo's dad first, and he stood up to give me a hug. That gave me the strength to face the brood of vipers! lol. He asked after my parents, my health, etc, like a true father would. Then I turned to greet the others. Mom first.
'Hello Mom, it's so good to see you. You look wonderful. I believe all is well?' I had on this plastic smile and it threatened to break if worn for much longer.
'I am fine. So you are too big to reply my text messages now? Hmm, this our wife. I wanted to know why you didn't think you should have come to greet your in-laws when you entered town. I know my son was at your house. I don't believe that this is how your mother taught you to behave toward the family you have plans of marrying into. Is this how you intend to impress us?' See me o. Impress them, what for? I just stood there dumb founded.
Boo's dad came to my rescue. He said, 'Woman, leave her alone. Why do you bother the child?' I felt like crying. Me I get Mama too o. I felt like telling her off. But for Boo's sake I held my tongue, and said instead, still smiling (I'm sure the smile had broken off on some parts of my face!lol) 'Ah Mommy. I just went home to change. Will be at the house after the wedding. And I didn't know you sent me a text. My phone is at home. I am sorry.'

She just made one sound in her throat and turned way. Then as if thinking aloud, she said, 'If you don't like what you have, there are others who will take it from you and do a better job with it.' I didn't understand what she meant then. I greeted Boo's sisters and went back to my table. Then the pretty girl I saw earlier came over to my table and said to Boo, 'Your mom asked me to get you.' Her voice was really sweet and she looked really innocent with her big eyes. She stretched out her hand shyly and he took it. Before leaving with her, he did a quick introduction. I learned her name was *Bianca and her family was friends with his family. As they walked away, she held on to him as if holding on for dear life. It was quite funny to me. When they got to the other table, it was so obvious she was smitten by him. She was flirting with him quite openly and Boo's family members were looking on with approval. I wasn't bothered. I went to the dance floor and danced for a while, went around greeting old friends and generally having a good time.

After the wedding party, Boo and I went straight to his house. From all that had happened at the party, it was obvious to me that this Bianca girl was planted by Boo's mom to try and seduce her son. I no ku ku sabi fight for man. He has to make his decision to stay with me or not. Boo's mom was always saying so I could hear, 'Bianca is this, Bianca is that.' She was just being childish as far as I'm concerned. The boy has made his choice, why won't they just leave him be?

When his mom said 'Ah Boo, Bianca will be coming to Abuja in 2 weeks. She's in Nigeria for a month and I will appreciate it and consider it a personal favor, if you would entertain her for the period she will be in Abuja,' I just smiled to myself. She couldn't have been any more forward.
He asked Bianca if she had already booked her hotel and his mom came in again, 'Hotel ke? What for? Isn't your house big enough? You have 3 bedrooms, surely She can stay in one of them.' I continued to listen to this conversation as if they were discussing some tennis game in which I had no interest in whatsoever. This went on and on and Boo firmly rejected to have her in his house. He was willing to book her into a hotel and show her around town when she came in, but that was where he drew the line. 'That's my man, I thought to myself!'

Momsie, seeing she was getting no where with her dubious plan said, 'Or is it because of Chickito? Chickito my dear, will you mind if he let her stay in his house for a few days?' hehehehe. Very funny. Since when did I become her dear? Abegi!
I replied sweetly, 'I think he can make up his own mind Mom. Whatever he decides is Ok with me.'

Anyway, let me cut the long story short. My mother in law (to be) wants to give her son another wife. Imagine that. I mean, she disrespects me already, but this was taking it up a notch! I am not jealous at all. The chick is fine but I can hold my own against her any day. I am not moved at all. Boo even tried to reassure me of his love and commitment to me. I told him I knew and I didn't need convincing. My only fear is that when we do finally get married I hope the woman will not continue her meddling ways. She is over bearing, and I keep praying to God for the grace to bear 'the burden' (she is the burden). AMEN.

That's it for now folks. I'm signing out right now. I gat to get back to work. Muahhhh

Friday, March 7, 2008

I remember...

It's really been one very hectic week since I last updated. Work has really taken a hold of me, but I decided that today, nothing, whether man made or not, can stop me from updating. So let's get to it already.

Tomorrow, Boo and I will travel home for a friend's wedding. Did I mention that Boo and I come from the same place? Yep, so we'll get to spend time with our families. I'm really not looking forward to seeing his family members, God help me. His sisters are coming for the wedding as well - arrhggg.

Just as I was thinking about my childhood yesterday, I remembered an incident that occurred when I was about six years old. It happened to my younger sister and I. She was two. Her name is K. I used to go for evening lessons then. The driver would drop me and my elder brother off by 3:00pm after school and my parents will come pick us up at 6:00pm. I used to love the drive back home. My parents would stop to buy roasted corn and pear or bole (roasted plantain) depending on the season, for us to eat on the ride back home. I just loved those evenings. We lived in the G.R.A and the streets were always quiet and cool, because of the big trees along the road. My sister and I would ask our parents to drop us off two streets from our house, so we could walk home and eat our snack and just enjoy nature. The streets were short and so the walk was less than 10 minutes. This was usually the highlight of our day.

One faithful day, as we were walking back home from the point our parents had dropped us off, we met two men. You see, our parents told us never to talk to anyone we didn't know on our way. So when we saw the two men, we made to pass them. I noticed that they were looking at us as if trying to look for something. I remember one of them one was wearing camouflage shirt and trousers and the other wore cream linen (or maybe it was cotton) buba and sokoto (native style shirt and trouser). Camouflage guy said to linen guy, when we got close enough to hear,
'Let's take them. They look OK to me.'
Linen guy answered, 'No now, they are too small.' They stopped to look at us, but we kept walking. K didn't seem to realize what had just happened. I took her hand and we picked up our pace. My heart was pounding. After a few steps, I courageously looked back. They were still arguing with themselves. Our bend was just around the corner and as soon as we took it, I told K, 'Run!'

We ran like we have never run before. I never looked back until I was safely inside my house. My Mom asked what the matter was, and I narrated the whole thing to her. She told me that the men were kidnappers! Of course that was the last time we ever took our evening stroll on the way back from lesson. It's funny the things you never forget from your childhood.

I remember once when my Mom traveled, my Dad had to give me a bath in the morning to prepare me for school. I was in KG3. I remember my Mom never had the patience to feed us when we were little, it was always my Dad's job. He'll sit with us for hours until we were fed our lunch. By this time my Mom had entered 'gear 2' in her siesta. I remember My Dad used to always make breakfast on week days before waking our Mom and us. I remember my Mom taking me to the market one evening, (I couldn't have been more than 2) and one woman said I was a future 'Miss Nigeria'! I remember I took baby formula until after my sister was born. I remember I had this massive toy guitar I loved to play in front of the TV anytime a music video played on TV. I remember I used to love touching one exposed live wire in the living room. The shock was thrilling! I had no idea it was dangerous, until I was caught. So many random things come to mind now. Let me not get all weird on you!

I'm almost done fixing my new place up. I've hung my TV up on the wall. It's really wonderful having my own place. My ex flattie and her fiance have paid me my money. They are still together. Don't ask me how come. I'm not interested. Bayo just wants to move the wedding forward. I'm hearing it will be in May. Wharrever men. I wish them all the best. Me and Boo are doing OK. All is well and I'm grateful to God. I don't think I'm forgetting anything. So there. Have a lovely weekend.

I'm out.