LOL!

Holla Pipo,
How's everyone doing? I know y'all were in panic following my last post. I'm so sorry...not! Lol. Really, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was truly touched that you do really care about what happens to me. Feels like family up in here...for real. Was just trying to write something nice. I'm glad you enjoyed it though. I am also pleased to announce to you, that Boo is doing well. He's out of town at the moment, so I'm a bit lonely. But we are doing well. We had a little fight at the airport before his departure, but nothing relationship threatening. He does get on my nerves sometimes. Actually, a lot. But that's gist for another day.

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I received a very sweet email recently and thought to share with y'all. Hope you enjoy it as much as i did. Will do a proper update soon.

~~~THROUGH A CHILD'S EYES~~~

Have a lovely weekend y'all. Peace!

Brokenness

It was a rainy night. Dark clouds shadowed the skies. Thunder and lightning rumbled across the heavens and the trees bowed in adoration and awe of the mighty wind. Little children were screaming in fright. Even adults trembled in fear willing the storm to be over. I was numb from the pain, oblivious to my surroundings. For all I cared the world could burn down in an instant. It would still have made no sense. What was life anyway? Who cared if we lived or perished? My mind was in absolute turmoil, the storm within greater than the one without. At intervals, I got curious stares from those around, but nobody asked any questions. Everyone pondered over his own inner thoughts and left me to burn in my own private hell.

I thought this love was forever. I could have sworn we were soul mates, made for each other. Is this how it felt to be heartbroken? I could feel the life draining from my quivering flesh, my heart shattering into a thousand pieces wounding my insides and scaring my soul. I knew in that instant I would never love again. There wasn’t enough of me to give away. I had become an incomplete woman, one who was once cherished and valued for her emotional independence. What I wouldn’t give to be in the arms of the one who promised to love me forever…just one more time. I’d give my arm and leg just to hear the words I once took for granted from the one who vowed to never bring me to this point.

That night marked the beginning of the end for me in many ways, after he told me it was over. Just like that. No explanation. No backward glance. One minute he was there, and the next he was gone. Later, my friends would try to tell me I’m better off without him. The bunch of liars. What do they know?

---

Today, I’m as weak as I was that night. I can’t concentrate on anything. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. The memories are drowning my spirit. I hate him but I hate me even more. For allowing myself to give of me so freely, trustingly and with a reckless abandon. I smile but all they see is a frown. I try to speak but all they hear are sobs. Maybe I should take a vacation or maybe I should just die. I hear them laughing at me, “she always thought she was better than us!” they say in scorn.

I’m losing me…yes I feel me departing, from this temple I always thought I’d reside in for a long while to come…what have I done? Where am I? I’m confused. This must be what it feels like to be insane. I’m broken…

I'm Back!!!

The weirdest, most annoying thing just happened to me now! I just typed a very long post and it disappeared before I could save or publish it. I'm so pissed. The auto save thingy doesn't seem to be working anymore. In fact this 'Create Post' page is looking real strange to me!

Well, let me try and start afresh...dang!
Thanks to all those who kept checking up on me. I'm back now and ready for action. My boss traveled since last week (em, sorry o), but he gave me a whole lot of work to last one year! I've relaxed jare...since I know I possibly can't meet up before he returns on Monday. Talk about unrealistic expectations!!

Nothing much has been happening sha...a little bit of this and a little bit of that. I will now proceed to ramble some. My aunt (Mom's cousin) was in Abuja over the weekend. She was on her way to Kaduna on official assignment and decided to visit with me before continuing on her journey. She kept asking funny questions and I knew they were all about Boo. She was asking strange questions like who paid for my house? Who furnished it? Who bought me a car? How did I get my job? Was I sleeping with Boo? I thought these questions were down right strange and inappropriate, but I just laughed them off without answering any of them. I introduced her to Boo eventually at a party organized by Boo's office. He asked me to invite her if she was up to it. To cut the long story short, she was acting real funny all night. When we got home, I asked her what the problem was, but she said that her spirit and his don't agree, that she prayed about us and because she felt uneasy, she decided to speak to her pastor. Her pastor told her that Boo is a 419, that he just wants to use and dump me! She went on to say that the only way I could make him mine forever was to get pregnant, that couldn't I see he was too good to be true? I was too amazed for words! Just imagine. I told her I didn't want to hear any more. If that was her motherly advice to me, she should just keep it to herself. Her 2 daughters are yet to be married and they are older than me...no suitors, nothing. Na my life she wan come spoil? If she knew so much, why were her kids not married? Abeg! I feel she is just jealous.
I was so glad when she left. I told Boo all she said and we laughed together. It's been a while I heard such crap, really.

I have started going to the gym again (I quit a while back and I swear, I've gained at least 2KG!). I want to loose the extra weight and prevent any future weight gains. Putting on the weight is easy, but getting it off is the real pain. I weigh 64KG normally. I'm 5ft 6inches tall, so I'm just OK. Not skinny, but not fat and I love the way i am but I need to work hard to maintain what I've got. That reminds me...one jerk of a guy saw me having lunch in my office recently and was trying to joke one kind yeye joke. He said, 'Chickito, So you still dey chop? You are already well padded and people like you need to save food for the rest of us to eat.' He laughed very loudly as if congratulating himself for telling some brilliant joke. The guy forgot that his wife looks like luxury bus tyres. Very chubby (that is putting it mildly!) I replied him with, 'I'm guessing your wife didn't get the memo?' *Ouch* I'm sure he thought to himself. He stopped laughing and walked away. Next time, he'd know better.

Any way I guess I've done my bit here for today. Be good y'all and enjoy the rest of your day!
I'm out!

New Wife?

It's so much easier to go around reading other peoples blogs and leaving comments. I try to update every single day, but I start and never finish. Work nko? It sure doesn't help the matter. A lot of things are happening and I know I should blog about them. This post is a bit long (sorry o, the story plenty!) I know, but I don't want to do part two like some people (DL, na you I dey talk. Go update jo)!

First off, last weekend was some thing else. I traveled home to attend a wedding. I arrived on Saturday morning and went straight to my Parents' house to get ready for the wedding which was to begin by noon, abi where was I supposed to go before? Let me take this slow. My Dad sent a driver to come pick me from the airport. Boo followed me inside just to greet my parents and then the driver took him to his own house. A few minutes before 12 noon, Boo returned to pick me up and we left the house. (I have a bad habit of sometimes leaving my phone at home if I feel I might not have any need for it, or I just don't want to be disturbed and that day was one of such days.)

We arrived at the wedding and I was there enjoying my self jejely with my man and I felt this great urge to turn my head to look behind me. Ah, there she was! Boo's Mother. She had this accusing look in her eyes. I waved and smiled at her, she just moved her eyes up and down (as in she eyed me very well) and turned her head away. I just pretended I was waving to someone else. I turned to Boo and asked, 'Why is your Mom mad at me? Have I done something wrong or is it her just being her usual self?'
Boo smiled at me and said, 'Pay her no mind babe, she's just being herself,' and he winked at me.
'It's only because of you that I put up with her, hope you know that,' and I just kept grumbling to myself about why she won't just give me a chance and blah, blah bla. Boo took my hand and squeezed it and we continued to enjoy the wedding and I forgot about Boo's Mom for a while.

At the reception, I noticed that all of Boo's sisters had arrived. All six of them. From my table,I could see everyone sitting at their own table. Boo's parents, his sisters and some of their friends. I got up to go say hi and tell them I'd be coming to the house later in the day to pay them a visit. As I approached, I noticed one really pretty chick sitting at the table. I couldn't help but notice her. She was a very attractive- light, smooth complexion, lovely hair, slender body- woman. She couldn't have been much older than me. I greeted Boo's dad first, and he stood up to give me a hug. That gave me the strength to face the brood of vipers! lol. He asked after my parents, my health, etc, like a true father would. Then I turned to greet the others. Mom first.
'Hello Mom, it's so good to see you. You look wonderful. I believe all is well?' I had on this plastic smile and it threatened to break if worn for much longer.
'I am fine. So you are too big to reply my text messages now? Hmm, this our wife. I wanted to know why you didn't think you should have come to greet your in-laws when you entered town. I know my son was at your house. I don't believe that this is how your mother taught you to behave toward the family you have plans of marrying into. Is this how you intend to impress us?' See me o. Impress them, what for? I just stood there dumb founded.
Boo's dad came to my rescue. He said, 'Woman, leave her alone. Why do you bother the child?' I felt like crying. Me I get Mama too o. I felt like telling her off. But for Boo's sake I held my tongue, and said instead, still smiling (I'm sure the smile had broken off on some parts of my face!lol) 'Ah Mommy. I just went home to change. Will be at the house after the wedding. And I didn't know you sent me a text. My phone is at home. I am sorry.'

She just made one sound in her throat and turned way. Then as if thinking aloud, she said, 'If you don't like what you have, there are others who will take it from you and do a better job with it.' I didn't understand what she meant then. I greeted Boo's sisters and went back to my table. Then the pretty girl I saw earlier came over to my table and said to Boo, 'Your mom asked me to get you.' Her voice was really sweet and she looked really innocent with her big eyes. She stretched out her hand shyly and he took it. Before leaving with her, he did a quick introduction. I learned her name was *Bianca and her family was friends with his family. As they walked away, she held on to him as if holding on for dear life. It was quite funny to me. When they got to the other table, it was so obvious she was smitten by him. She was flirting with him quite openly and Boo's family members were looking on with approval. I wasn't bothered. I went to the dance floor and danced for a while, went around greeting old friends and generally having a good time.

After the wedding party, Boo and I went straight to his house. From all that had happened at the party, it was obvious to me that this Bianca girl was planted by Boo's mom to try and seduce her son. I no ku ku sabi fight for man. He has to make his decision to stay with me or not. Boo's mom was always saying so I could hear, 'Bianca is this, Bianca is that.' She was just being childish as far as I'm concerned. The boy has made his choice, why won't they just leave him be?

When his mom said 'Ah Boo, Bianca will be coming to Abuja in 2 weeks. She's in Nigeria for a month and I will appreciate it and consider it a personal favor, if you would entertain her for the period she will be in Abuja,' I just smiled to myself. She couldn't have been any more forward.
He asked Bianca if she had already booked her hotel and his mom came in again, 'Hotel ke? What for? Isn't your house big enough? You have 3 bedrooms, surely She can stay in one of them.' I continued to listen to this conversation as if they were discussing some tennis game in which I had no interest in whatsoever. This went on and on and Boo firmly rejected to have her in his house. He was willing to book her into a hotel and show her around town when she came in, but that was where he drew the line. 'That's my man, I thought to myself!'

Momsie, seeing she was getting no where with her dubious plan said, 'Or is it because of Chickito? Chickito my dear, will you mind if he let her stay in his house for a few days?' hehehehe. Very funny. Since when did I become her dear? Abegi!
I replied sweetly, 'I think he can make up his own mind Mom. Whatever he decides is Ok with me.'

Anyway, let me cut the long story short. My mother in law (to be) wants to give her son another wife. Imagine that. I mean, she disrespects me already, but this was taking it up a notch! I am not jealous at all. The chick is fine but I can hold my own against her any day. I am not moved at all. Boo even tried to reassure me of his love and commitment to me. I told him I knew and I didn't need convincing. My only fear is that when we do finally get married I hope the woman will not continue her meddling ways. She is over bearing, and I keep praying to God for the grace to bear 'the burden' (she is the burden). AMEN.

That's it for now folks. I'm signing out right now. I gat to get back to work. Muahhhh

Random Happenings

Pipo, how y'all doing? It's been a while huh? I'm finally moving to my own place next weekend by the grace of God. Yay!!! I found this really gorgeous one-bedroom flat and I'm ecstatic. It's simply lovely and I give thanks to God. Boo surprised me by buying me a flat-screen TV for my living room. He calls it his house warming gift to me. I was simply blown away (still am, actually. Never thought I'd own one so soon!). My new (soon to be ex) flattie, *Abby has been real gracious. No drama what so ever. She doesn't seem to want me to leave, but I got to do what I got to do. As for the buffoons, Sade and Bayo, they've promised to refund my money come month-end. I don't know how they are coping with each other, and frankly, I don't care.

Anyway, there's this guy who works in the same company that I work in. We met in my early days at the company and I noticed he had an interest in me. He took it upon himself to show me around and tell me one or two things about the people I would be working with. We kinda became friends. He was easy to talk to and he was one of the first friends I made there, so we used to hang out together often, during lunch break. He used to call me almost every hour just to find out how I was coping at the job and I felt he was such a nice guy. I told him early on though that I was off the market (so to speak), just in case he got any ideas that this was more than it was. He came to my office one faithful afternoon and said we should go for lunch that he had something really important to tell me. I wondered what it could be, but I just went with him anyway. We sat down to eat and we were discussing about random things when he suddenly said, 'Chickito, I'm falling for you, and I believe you feel the same.'

At first, I thought I didn't hear him well, so I said, 'sorry?'
He repeated himself and I was speechless for a few seconds. I knew our friendship was ruined forever. I just knew. I decided not to beat around the bush and come out straight. I told him once again, 'I have a fiance, and we are getting married soon. Besides I don't feel that way about you. You are just a good friend,' I concluded.

He smiled and said, 'I have seen the future, and we are meant to be.' What the hell did he mean? I looked at him carefully to be sure he was still sane. I felt sorry for him but didn't show it. I smiled back and said, 'Don't hold your breath, it's not going to happen.' After that incident, he started calling me more regularly, even after working hours. He wanted us to go on a date. I told him I didn't have a problem with that, if I could bring my fiance. He became angry and told me I was being childish. I don suffer! He stopped calling. The first time we met on the corridor after that, he walked by me like I wasn't there. I had a smile on my face, stopped to say hi, and he walked right on by. Fast-forward to this morning, a female colleague of mine came to my office, which was a rare occurrence as we were not really friends. She looked a bit unsure of how to say what she had to say.
'Em, Chickito, I don't know how to say this, but please don't take it the wrong way,' I was truly lost, I couldn't imagine what we had to talk about.
'*Sarah, go ahead. What is the problem?'
'*Toju told me that you guys were once em...very close, and you were in love with him. We are dating now and we are happy. But he told me that it's like you are not happy he's dating me, and you disrespect him when you see him.' *What da hell is this woman talking about? The murraf&%^+r! Oh no he didn't!!*

I was too overwhelmed for words. I sat there and listened to all she had to say. I wanted to walk her out of my office and give her some not so endearing words to tell her boyfriend. But I didn't. I was fuming for a while after she left, I mean, really fuming. But I realized that somehow, it didn't matter. The two of us (Toju and I) know the real truth between us. Blasted nigger! I'm sending thunder into his pants. He'll regret lying about me to his girlfriend. I don't even know how to express myself. *hiss*

As for those of you wondering why I haven't married Boo yet, it's because of our families. it's the Nigerian thing. The whole family wants to attend the wedding and we actually said we'd be ready by the middle of the year, but they've pleaded with us to postpone till the end of the year. Anyone who misses it will miss out as we are not ready to postpone it till next year. And it's not like they want to help us make it grand or anything like that o. I wonder why they want to be there! Just want to make us spend more money. My parents don't mind, if not I would become Mrs... come July. It's all good though.

I guess that's it for now. The other things I would have wanted to blog about are still unfolding, so let me let the tori complete first, then I go yarn.

I'm out.

Update

Last Friday
Got home from the office at about 7:10pm. Was in a good mood until I entered my flat and saw my flattie, Sade and her fiance, Bayo sitting in the living room. They looked like someone had died. I wished I had invisible powers at that time, so that I could sneak in unnoticed. I greeted them. Bayo mumbled something back, Sade just sat begging me with her eyes. The girl I used to know was no more. Maybe she never existed. I went into my room and as soon as I sat on my bed, I heard a quiet knock. It was Bayo.

'Chickito, please join us in the living room when you are done. It's important,' it was obvious that something was wrong. Anyway, I didn't bother to change my clothes. Went out immediately.

'What's up?' I asked.

'It has come to my knowledge that you've been helping Sade to entertain her other boyfriend.You girls have been making a fool of me. I agreed to allow you stay here because I believed you were decent.' I thought I was going to loose it there and then. See this mumu o. You no fit keep your Madam, you dey blame me. Na me go help you service am? Besides, I'm not just 'staying here', I'm paying rent! But instead, I sat mute and let him say his mind.

'Duke is a guy that Sade f****d before we got together and when we initially started seeing each other. She promised she'd stop seeing him, and I believed her. She is a bitch. But you, Chickito, I thought you'd tell me if she was up to something. I'm so disappointed. I bet you bring in men as well, and I'll have to tell Boo. You two are one of a kind. At least before he marries you, let him know what he is getting himself into. Let him know you are a little prostitute!' I totally lost it then and I'm still asking God to forgive me for saying the things that I did.

'It is your mother that is a prostitute, you bastard son of a nobody. How dare you? Am I your private detective? Are you not both old enough to carry on maturely? If she's seeing another man, how is that my concern? You are obviously not man enough to do her justice, that's why she went for a more virile man to give her what she needed. Shame on you. Pig!'

'Please stop.' Sade managed to mutter, but she was trembling by this time, looking from me to Bayo. She knew there was no easy way out of this one. Bayo was enraged and I could swear he would hit me. But he held himself back. I remember looking so defiant an thinking to myself, 'If them born you well, touch me.'

There was an uneasy quiet at this time. And I decided it was time to take my leave. I went into my room and called Boo. He was at a meeting, but told me to go wait for him at home. I stormed out of the house banging the door behind me. I sat in my car for a while to calm down and when I was OK, I drove out from the parking lot to Boo's house.

I was making dinner for myself when Boo got home and boy was I glad to see him. We talked in the kitchen and he said we could go get my things in the morning. I gave him a great big hug because at the time I thought it was a good idea. But now, I'm thinking, should I have allowed them run me out? After all my rent hadn't expired. We ate dinner and it felt sooo good being with Boo like that. We cuddled on the couch and everything felt so right. That was the first night. We slept in separate bedrooms.

Last Saturday
Went to my house early in the morning to get my things. Boo went with me, in case things got out of hand. The house was empty, so I was able to pack most of my things without drama. We spent the rest of the day together running errands. Went to watch a movie in the evening. By the time we got back, I was truly fagged out. We slept in separate bedrooms on the second night.

Sunday
We went to church in the morning and spent the rest of the day resting at his crib. I hadn't heard from either Sade or Bayo and couldn't care less. I guess Bayo had changed his mind about telling Boo that I wasn't that innocent. *Shrug*. What ever! I was having a blast and didn't care about the rest of the world. That night however, *clears throat*, I slept with Boo. OK, not as in sex oh, pullleease! I mean on the same bed. We were watching TV on the bed. I was all set to sleep. Wore baggy pyjamas, so I don't temp the poor guy. Nothing prepared me for the way he looked at me though. I was lying with my head at the foot of the bed and he was lying with his head in the opposite direction. Something made me turn toward him for a moment and I caught him starring at me with hungry eyes. We kiss and stuff once in a while, but nothing too heavy. But this time the way he rushed my lips en, like a dying man sucking on a few drops of water in a bid to save his life! I could feel my own body tense up. At that moment, I knew that I wouldn't sleep in my own room. I can't remember the exact sequence of things, but I remember that after a while, he reluctantly pulled himself away from me. I was only too glad, because I knew I might not have been able to stop myself. We continued watching the film and I dozed off. He gently woke me up on Monday morning to get ready for work.

There's a lot of pent up sexual tension in the air at the moment. And I'm wondering if being with him in the same house is a good idea. I know he would never jump me, but body no be fire wood. I am looking for another place. But I'm also thinking of going back to my flat and continuing my search from there. I love his company and all that, but if I'm to keep up with my 'no marriage, no sex' stand then I know this is not a healthy situation. But how do I return to that house? I don't think I can't take any more drama. I am truly fed up.

So my pipo, this is what has been happening. I hope to find a place by next week sha, by the grace of God. If I don't, I just might move back to my flat and manage till my rent expires in May. *cringe*. Got to go now though. I have a deadline at work. Hope to hang out with y'all at your blogs, so gimme a shout out.

I'm out.

The Grass Is Always Greener at the Other side

I visited a friend over the weekend, and she really had alot to talk about. She complained bitterly about her relationship with the guy she intends to marry. Let's call her Mary. Mary is scared that she could be making the wrong choice. She loves Mark, her fiance, but feels the problems they have in their relationship are overwhelming. Mary said she wished her relationship could be like mine.
She was like, 'You guys have respect for each other. You never fight, at least not in public. It's obvious that he adores you. He doesn't hassle you for sex, he is willing to wait. He will do anything for you. I wish Mark and I were like you guys. Sometimes, I think I love him more than he loves me.'

This revelation was a shocker to me. She always struck me as someone who had a solid relationship with her man. They have been dating since they were in school, but what she said got me thinking. Is my relationship really perfect? Yes, Boo loves me and all that, he is a real catch too and I feel blessed to have him, but we certainly gat major issues.

I have thought about quitting many times before. I have come to terms with the fact that we will not always see eye to eye about everything. We compliment each other though. I am the 'firebrand' and Boo is more laid back, not taking things too seriously. When we have a fight, he is quick to forgive no matter who the offender is. I like to make trouble, especially if I know I'm right. But our biggest issue is not that we disagree alot. It's his family. His mom just doesn't like me. His sisters too seem not to like me, and he has six of them! He is the only boy and the last child, so he is seriously doted on. How he turned out not to be a spoiled brat is still a mystery to me. Nobody knows that I sometimes seriously consider leaving him because of his Mom. The woman na real terrorist. She is a 'society' woman, very light skinned and pretty. I'm dark skinned so she doesn't think I'm pretty enough for her son. I just tire sometimes. I don't know who she thinks she is. I don't want to have any wahala with his family. Only his dad seems to genuinely like me...Most times I don't give a hoot what they think. Thank God Boo always stands up for me and tells them to butt out, but....I wish things were different. Can't really go into all the details.

Just thinking about the whole thing pisses me off. So when people tell me they want to be like me, I shake my head and tell them if they only knew. I guess that's life. You can't have it all. God puts some stumbling blocks on our way, so we'll always have a reason to come back to him.

Yeah, I know, not a very interesting topic. But this has been on my mind, so, there.

I'm out.