Thursday, January 17, 2008

My Ex has come back to hunt me! 2

We went for dinner and saw a movie afterwards. I can't even remember how the chinese food tasted or what we talked about. My heart was just beating. We got back to my place and after dropping me, he refused to leave. He said he wasn't coming in but begged me to sit with him in the car, that he won't be held responsible if he tried to get down with me. I agreed to stay in the car, because I wasn't sure if I'd stop him if he tried anything.

'So my darling,' he asked, 'Are you really happy with Boo? Just say the word and we'll start arranging the traditional wedding tonight. I'll call your dad, by the way how is he doing? I'll also call my family, you know they've always loved you. My mum has never liked any of the other girls I've taken home. My sister keeps rubbing it in that I was a fool to let you go.....' On and on he went about how badly he wanted us to rekindle the old flame that burned between us. The bad thing is, I'd wanted to hear these words so long ago. Talk about the right thing at the wrong time!

Now Boo and Tom know each other. Boo was our senior in the university. At that time in school, he was dating somebody else and I never even thought anything would ever happen between us. You know how it is, you just find yourselves in the same place and you begin to see what you never did before. After Boo broke up with his then girlfriend, he was inconsolable. I even felt sorry for him and wished I had a guy that would be inconsolable if he ever lost me. I stayed of guys for a while until I finished school (except for a brief stint with a much older friend of Tom and I, which is another story in itself.) I and Boo met again later at church. He just started getting interested in me but I wasn't interested at all. I just felf he probably was still hung up on his girlfriend. He convinced me that he wasn't. So I started to examine him very well. He was everything a girl wants (at least, this girl). And after a while, I agreed to date him. He is the perfect gentleman. Treats me like a queen, is always thoughtful, caring and kind. He would make a wonderful husband and father. Sparks fly between us, but it's just not like with Tom. I hate to compare but it's the truth. He is what I need but Tom is what I seem to want.

Anyway, back to that night. Tom said if not that he knew Boo, he would openly declare war and then the best man would win. But as Boo is someone he always admired and looked up to, he would hold his peace for now, giving me time to make up my mind. He finally left, but not before he said those magical words, 'I love you.' Heyyyy, na me be dis? I got inside my house by 11pm an checked my phone. It had been on silent mode since. There were 17 missed calls from Boo. It was then I remembered him. I called back immediately. He was so relieved. 'Baby, I was going mad with worry. What happened? Are you OK? You didn't call all evening.' It wasn't even an accusation. 'Which kind man be dis?' I thought to myself. I knew the only way that I could leave him was if we had a serious fight. We've never really had one because he hardly ever lost his cool, no matter how much I pushed him, and boy do I push him.

'What, monitoring me now are we? So because you are not in town now you want to keep an eye on me en? You don't own me o, I can choose not to pick the phone if I want.' I said this to try and pick a fight.
'Ah babe, not so. I'm not monitoring you and you know it. I was just worried. Anyway, what have you been up to? I wish I could be with you tomorrow. I miss you too much, but I can't leave here till the 28th.' I could hear the longing in his voice. I felt he wasn't reacting how I wanted, so I pushed him a little more.
'No problem at all, take your time at home. Greet everyone for me o,' was all I said.
He laughed. Ah, I thought to myself wetin funny, vex na! 'As if you are not missing me! My naughty baby. Sleep well dear. Will talk to you tomorrow. I love you.'

I just said 'Bye,' and hung up. Whatever. I went to bed and was thinking about Tom and I couldn't sleep. What to do, what to do. I thought I would run crazy. I got through the night and woke up with Tom on my mind, couldn't pray, couldn't do anything. We hung out on Christmas day and tried to catch up on old times. Tom has been calling me even now that Boo is back in town. I just told Boo he's been transferred to Abuja and he was so excited. He hadn't seen him in a while. I asked Boo if he felt threatened by my Ex's presence and he said he didn't have an issue with that at all. He said if his own ex came to town he knows it wouldn't make a difference to him. Besides, he trusts me and would never doubt me. Our wedding is for the end of the year. But how can I marry him if my ex is still wooing me and I can't tell him convincingly, to back off? This is a recipe for disaster.


onydchic said...

Hmm, ever heard that phrase, 'flirting wih danger'? I think you're asking for trouble, and I really advise against it.

Instead of pushing your ex out of the picture, you're actually considering it. And considering issues with your current guy. If you find you stil have feelings for him, isn't it best to stay away for you relationship's sake? You're gonna tempt yourself. Sounds like Boo trusts you a lot.
Dont just jump into it just cos he's saying all the right things. You're either with one guy ... or the other.

princesa said...

Hmmm...serious recipe for disaster mehn!
One question. Do you really love ur current bf?
If you do then take my advise, stick to ur boo, Forget this ex. He came late!

30+ said...

How may ears do you have?

Your wedding is at the end of the year ko?!

You need to be binding any form of distraction (a.k.a ex) right now.

Is it the gissh gish of ex that you want or the stabiliy of a good man who trusts you.

plastiQ said...

Hey, this is kinda funny/strange. My galfriend says that exact same thing wen i call...hmnnn.
But seriously, if u can't shake ur ex now...I don't think you'll be able to do that even if you got married ten times to boo. Its a thing of the mind and permit me to say this: its tied to a severe SELFISH craving for your ex. Get rid of that craving or whatever it is and voila! you are home free.

darkelcee said...

lol @30+

But she is actually telling you the truth. Boo sounds like the man

Ex is just a distraction. You dont need it.

Stop SEEING him! As long as it continues temptation abounds.

Aspiring nigerian woman said...

Dear oh dear. Ex is a disaster, unless of course you don't love Boo which is better that you just break off the whole thing.

Exs are always tempting, especially if it is unfinished business.

Afrobabe said...

hmmmmm... a REAL recipe for disaster...babe, dont throw away what you have over someone who left you without a backward not worth it...and since we love you, we might need to beat some sense into ur head...wish i was in abuja...then i could pull ur ears while talking...

Simi Speaks said...

Ummm.. sounds like you are simply infatuated with Ex.

Bottom line is that you want a happy home and marriage, ya?

Then marry the guy that will give you just that..

Ditch the distraction! The devil is a liar se!!

Girlie said...


i dont know which one to say, but erm......the ex palava should stay in the past.Abegi. Dont ruin what u ve now for what was!!!!u r d one dat always advises me on men, so i dont know wot to say really!!!

Goodluck sweets


Tiger Tem said...

Disaster. Your words not mine.

Probably just some anxiety before you take the plunge. Bet you wouldn't like Tom so much if you were actually with him. The grass always look greener doesn't it?

Omodudu said...


Naija Chickito said...

My pipo,

Thanks for stopping by. I really needed a good talking to, you know. Like Girlie rightly said, I know how to give good advice on guys, but it is time to take my own pill! It ain't easy, but I sure know the right thing to do.

Luv y'all much.

!*!*!*!*!Fresh and Fab!*!*!*!*! said...

naija chickito na you be this......this gist too sweet ,. i wouldnt know what to say,.its a classic case of your heart is in two places at once....if only you can keep both guys,.,but tom sef,him no know say u get bobo..which one him dey ...but ill say you need to sit down and way your priorities,. and just follow your heart..,no matter if its a bad decision, you always have to follow your heart.

You have the best stories and I love reading them
I love your blog man,too good

little miss me said...

tough situation..choose carefully,you don't want to make any decisions you would regret

Uzo said...

Step away from the ex...

I think it might just be the jitters...Most of my friends that are married had 'almost" encounters before they got married...

Might just be that but to be on the safe side...step away from the ex

Onome said...

exactly uzo is right step away from d ex......hold on tight to wat u have...may God guide u

Obinwanne said...

stop anything u have with tom and stick with boo....he;s a man and even trust you......he doesnt doubt you... for me..he;s the man

pink gloves said...

for your own sanity, cut that ex of with immediate urgency.
If you need to re-evaluate your feeling for Boo, take a week or two away from him, and do some serious soul searching and pray like u have never prayed b4. u know.
Good luck sha.

desperate lady said...

Tom needs to fuck off mehn, who d hell does he think he is? N naija chickito y r u making him know he has that much control over u?
Nigga left u 3yrs ago cos he was scared of marriage(coward), n u think he's ready to marry u now?
He has d guts 2 say he loves u abi, where d hell has he been since? Now he loves u becasue he just got transferred so he can get a tight pussy(virgin) for free.
Girl if u know what is good for u, tell that boy 2 leave u alone, if he doesn't agree eh, tell him ur big sis(me) in yankee needs 2 have a word with him(I go give u ma digits no biggie), then I'll do the cussing out for you.
He.s such an idiotic, nonsensical murrafucker!

desperate lady said...

I just waant to add.
Some people are out there looking for a good husband to marry e.g Myself and Afrobabe(she go kill me), and we haven't seen, we end up with stingy murrasuckers instead.
And then u have a good 1 staring u in the face and ur here saying ur confused....k no wahala o.
Pls how old is ur current boo? Can I have his numba? Just incase u decide 2 go bck 2 ur ex......ill help console him*wink*

Anonymous said...

even tho i am prolly the worst person to advice u on this but i think u shud leave "exs" as "exs"...u seem to have a lovely relationship which people search 4 constantly...leave it as such...all d best love

Naija Chickito said...

@F&F - thanks my dear, for the encouragement. I appreciate

@Little miss me - well said. Thanks

@Uzo- I agree with you completely

@Onome - A big AMEN to that!

@Obinwanne- Couldn't agree more. The truth is, it ain't easy. But I'm trying.

@Pink gloves - I know what I need, honestly. It's just that Tom came with the promises of excitement. But what I really want is someone who loves and trusts me and Boo does. So what the hell is my problem abi?

@Desperate Lady - my sis, please go easy on me. I don hear, I have repented. You and afrobabe go find una own...can I hear an Amen!!

@riquediva - thanks all the same for dropping by. I do appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

i know u wrote this a while back, but i just found ur blog and had to drop a line. 2 years ago this was sooo my story! I was in a very loving realtionship with a guy who totally loved me and then my 1st loved came to hunt me! It was crazy to choose but now i'm married to my boo and tom is a close friend who still hunts me but realises that nothing can happen anymore.

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