Take Two...

Just last month I was having a conversation with some typical Nigerian men and I was mad to hear the things they had to say. Ok, see me O! I worship at a very popular church in Abuja and our head pastor is gorgeous. She has ‘The Word’ but she is also real good looking. My friends and I got into this argument about how they felt she was not celibate (her husband is late). They believed that a woman that pretty had to have someone who serviced (pardon the use of that word!) her at regular intervals… I know…such nerve hmmn? For a moment I was speechless, then I responded by saying that I didn’t know if she had a young (or old) man for that purpose, but it is possible for a woman to keep herself without sex if she wanted to. They laughed in my face as if what I was saying was impossible, just imagine. One of them, E, also argued that he was a Catholic and he had seen many instances where even Reverend Fathers and Sisters had rendezvous and sexcapades, saying ‘body no be fire wood’.

Ok, pause. I am a 25 year old virgin (did you say something?). And I definitely know it is totally possible to be celibate for a long period of time. .tell me about it! (e no easy sha, abeg!) But most guys think it’s impossible. So imagine their animated faces when I reluctantly revealed this just to buttress my point. They jumped up and down. I told them that I couldn’t speak for anyone, but advised them to respect my pastor and not say those things about her. They left that matter, na me them come face.

‘So you are a virgin?’ E asked. ‘I don’t believe you. Prove it to us,’ he continued.

‘Haba,’ I replied. ‘How am I supposed to do that? It’s either you believe me or you don’t.’ The conversation continued along those lines. After we had this conversation, I could tell that they had this new respect for me and my bobo. It was obvious they didn’t think such people still existed. I was even surprised that they believed me, as most people just don’t believe me when I tell them. What’s the big deal? Don’t get the wrong impression. I’m by no means a prude but I believe what I believe and for me, sex before marriage is out of the question. Another friend of mine in another place and time once told me he wanted to date and marry an untouched woman. He would love to be his wife’s first. He just couldn’t stand to know she had been with another guy, or maybe 2 or 3 or 20..eewwww! But then, the age old argument arises again. Some guys want them fresh, yet they insist on sex in a relationship they don’t believe will necessarily lead to marriage. I know some ladies don’t mind and I respect their choices. But even as una dey do am, small small o…AIDS is real! LOL.

So tell me, has anyone met any 25yr old virgins? Would the guys want a virgin wife? For the married ones, were you your wife’s first?

I’m out. Have a lovely day!